Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Divorce, A Loss For Children


For children, divorce may feel like a loss of a father and the life they know. However, you can help your children adjust to new circumstances if you support your feelings.

Some tips you can consider for this are:

* Listen. Encourage them to share their feelings and listen. May feel sad or frustrated by things that are not under its control.

* Help them put their feelings into words. It is normal for children to have difficulty expressing their feelings. Let them know that whatever they say is fine, because if they are unable to say what they feel in the process of divorce have more difficulty working with them.

* Acknowledge your feelings. This might reassure the children, as it demonstrates your sensitivity to the divorce.

Misunderstandings out!

Many children believe that they had the fault that her parents divorced due to his poor grades or the times you got into trouble.

To avoid misunderstandings can use these tips:

Putting the record straight. Repeat why you decided to divorce. Sometimes the reasons for divorce are not very clear and it should be noted with some frequency. Be patient. Children may appear to have understood the reasons for divorce one day and the other does not. Be patient and explain again why you divorcio.Amor unconditional. As often as you need to remind your children that both parents still love them. Above all, tell them they are not responsible for the divorce. Your words, actions and ability to maintain consistency are important tools to reassure your children and give them your love inalterable.Presencia testing of both parents. Let your children know that despite the physical circumstances and divorce, may remain a healthy, loving relationship with both parents. Everything will be fine. Tell the children that things are not always easy after the divorce, but they will try to deal with problems. This can help encourage your children to give a chance to the new situation after the divorce. Show them love. Embrace them, give pats on the shoulder or just hold physical proximity to them. This will help reassure them. Be honest. When children ask their questions or concerns, answer with certainty.

If you do not know the answer, tell them you do not know but will know soon.

Provides emotional stability to your children

To help your children adjust to the change caused by divorce, emotional stability commensurate with what was in daily life before the divorce. Remember that this does not mean the establishment of more rigid routines, but the creation of some regular routines and better communication gives your children a sense of calm.

Comfortable routine after divorce

Having an organization prone routines and schedules for each of them helps young children, but many people do not realize that this may also be beneficial for older children.

For example, the dinner may be followed by a bath and then start doing the job. Routines like this can set the mind of a child with ease.

If you keep a routine, it means that still respects rules, prizes and, above all, discipline for your children. Resist the temptation to spoil the children during a divorce for not enforcing limits or allow them to break the rules previously respected.

Beware

At this point, the main instruction to bring the house is taking care of you so you can take care of your children.

Your own recuperaciónSi keep calm and live in the present, you will benefit your children. You can take into account the following steps to improve your wellbeing and prospects after divorce:

Exercise and have a healthy diet. Exercise relieves the tension and frustration are common after a divorce. While cooking can be hard, eating healthy will make you feel better inside and out. See your friends frequently. Although you do not feel like anyone to not answer questions, the reality is that you need distraction. Say you want to avoid the topic and subject arreglado.Haz a journal. Write your feelings, thoughts and moods to release your tension, sadness and anger. Occasionally review your notes and see how much you avanzado.Nunca vent your negative feelings with your child. Whatever you do, do not use your negatividad.Mantén hijopara download your laughter. Try to be in good spirits and incorporates play into your life. This can help relieve stress and give everyone a break from the sadness and anger. See a therapist if you think you need. In case you have intense anger, fear, grief, shame or guilt, find a professional that you ayude.Algunas other golden rules are:

Never argue in front of your children. This is true whether in person or by telephone. If you see no chance to start a fight, tell your ex that best speak at another time or leave the conversation completo.Usa touch. Refrain from talking to your children about the details of the behavior of the other parent as much after the divorce process. If you do not have anything nice to say, say nothing. Be nice. Be courteous when interacting with the other parent. This is not only a good example for your children, but can also make your ex has a different attitude. Look at the bright side. Chooses to focus on strengths or qualities of all family members. Encourage children to do the same. Develop a friendly relationship with your spouse. This should be a priority and you have to do it as soon as possible. If you're nice you can reassure children and teach them to solve problems too. An overview of divorce

If you become preoccupied over and over again in battle with your ex about the details of parenting, think again and remember that the most important are your children.

The relationship with both parents. What is the best for your children long term? Having a good relationship with both of your parents for a lifetime. The long-term. If you can keep long-term goals regarding your physical and mental, will be able to avoid disagreements about the details of every day. Think of the future in order to maintain calma.Bienestar for all. The happiness of your children, yours and even your ex, must be one of the main goals after a divorce. A good relationship with your ex

If after a divorce can lead a friendly relationship with your ex, it means you've made your feelings aside and do what is best for your children. This may seem a difficult task, but you have to learn to make co-parenting an easy process for all.

Do you know when to seek help?

Some children go through a divorce with few problems, while at others it is a very difficult to overcome. Children often feel a range of difficult emotions before the divorce, but time, love and peace will help them heal.

If your children continue to be overwhelmed after a few months after the divorce, you may need to seek professional help.

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